


7. Memory

by sweaterwearinlesbian



Series: Deathnotetober [7]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Day 7: Memory, Deathnotetober, F/M, Suicide mention, Y’all this is kinda sad, it’s basically a ‘what if’ after the canon of the anime, light’s a bastard even after he’s dead, like no joke, to clarify the light/misa tag: light is still gay, yes Sayu married matsuda, yes i refer to him a Touta bcz i don’t think you call ur husband by his last name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 20:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21087263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterwearinlesbian/pseuds/sweaterwearinlesbian
Summary: She visited their graves to remember but got nothing but sadness from it.





	7. Memory

A distant memory. That was all her brother was now. Sayu had moved on, she had lived her life. She had done everything right. She got a degree, she got married (to Touta Matsuda of all people. They both had nightmares about Light and got married because of it. Typical Light meddling after his death.). So why, why did she feel an ache in her chest when she looked at her home? Was it because her brother was supposed to be there? Her father? Her mother? 

She just wanted to make them proud, and her dear Touta said she did, but she wouldn’t ever know. Was Light proud of her? Were her parents? Her life was perfect but she couldn’t remember whatever memory would make this hole in her heart go away. 

She visited their graves to remember but got nothing but sadness from it. 

She tried to make their favorite foods, she tried to play tennis (she was as awful as she remembered being). She tried to be the mother to her children that Sachiko was to her and then gave up because all Sachiko raised was a broken woman and a mass murderer. 

_ The night was cold. Touta held her hand, clammy though it was. “Are you sure about this? _

_“I haven’t been this sure about something in a long time.” _

It was only after she had spent years pondering, right around when her hair was starting to grey and Touta was getting wrinkles of laugh lines and their children were all getting married, that she knew what it was that she was missing. “What happened to her? Misa, I mean. My brother dated her didn’t he? Must’ve been hard on her to lose him.” It had been years since they talked about the Kira case. Touta didn’t like to and neither did Sayu, but sometimes they had to. Like now. 

“I… actually don’t know. Misa-Misa kinda disappeared from the limelight after everything went down. I wonder where she ended up retiring to…” Sayu pulled out her laptop (oh how her son laughed at her for sticking with such old technology, but she never minded much so long as she could keep in touch with them all) and googled her name. Within the first few searches she found her Wikipedia page. Her heart stopped when she saw the last edited date: February 14th 2014. She clicked on it: it couldn’t be true. It was. Misa Amane, cause of death: suicide. Sayu clicked away and found an old article from a newspaper’s website that touched on the subject briefly. 

IDOL AMANE MISA FOUND DEAD: POLICE SAY APPARENT SUICIDE. 

Sayu gasped a little bit; Misa was always kind to Sayu’s family and loved Light to no end. His death must have destroyed her. “She’s… she’s dead Touta honey.” Touta moved faster than Sayu had seen him move in ten years. 

“There’s no way! Let me see that.” Sayu handed the laptop over and Touta scanned the page. “She really is dead. Suicide… says here that she jumped off a building wearing a Lolita maid outfit, and left no note nor did any of her close friends say that she seemed likely to kill herself.” Sayu knew when Touta needed her and now was one of those times. She pulled him gently to sit next to her on the couch, his head on her chest. 

“It’s so crazy isn’t it?” 

“I can’t believe it. She exists now only in our memories.” 

“Only in our memories…” 

That night, they drove to the cemetery where she lay and left a bouquet of black roses for her. Sayu let Touta hold her hand the whole time, even if she wasn’t fond of PDA. They both needed the closure. They needed to lay their memories to rest. And they did.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually enjoyed writing this, older Sayu is probably a lot more calm, same w Matsu! I just love them okay, this is how it is. Also idk how to write endings oops
> 
> Tumblrs- sweaterwearinlesbian (main) & lightsturtleneck (dn)


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